Things I have pondered over the past 5 months
- What in the world could cause a seemingly healthy 17th month-old little boy to just not wake up from a nap?
- How do I live the rest of my life without Mica?
- Is this the worst pain a person can endure or is there something even worse? Would it be worse if he had been older? Or younger? Would it have been worse if he had been sick or taken by an actual accident or at the hand of another human? Would me or Sam dieing be harder on the one left behind or would it be harder on Ned and Mica then this is on Sam and I?
- Was it different to have a child die 100 years ago when it was much more common? Did it make it easier because of expectation or because almost everybody had buried a child so everybody knew how you felt? Would I feel any different 100 years ago?
- Could I go on if something happened to Sam or Ned? Or would I have to, the same way I have to right now for them.
Things I don’t ponder anymore
- Where I would go if I had a time machine.
Love you baby boy. Yesterday, today and tomorrow too.
whatmom 